Spice Girls Forever

While surfing around on Rock Dummy I couldn't stop laughing when I read:

What a great day for the music industry!

What a great day for mankind!

What a great day to put your head in a chipper shredder with dull blades!

This was in response to the fact that the Spice Girls got back together to release a new 'Greatist Hits' album. My question is where can I get my own chipper shredder with dull blades...